Cover Photo: Shannon Gallo
Courtesy of Paula Lawler
The world I inhabited in 1968 as a child was a different world than it is today. Our world was comprised of family (immediate family with my mom, dad and three siblings, our extended family which comprised grandparents living next door, another grandparent we visited on a weekly basis and lots of aunts, uncles and cousins), school and our neighborhood. I literally knew every single person who lived on my block and I knew every single household on a few blocks that surrounded the house I lived in. We had a gigantic backyard filled with a pool, a swing set and my grandfather's huge garden. The year of 1968 brought a new family to the neighborhood. Slightly more than a half block away a new mom and dad moved in with their three daughters (one of whom would be a childhood friend) and the new mom was pregnant! That fourth daughter would grow up one day to raise eleven children with her husband. That woman, Paula Lawler is the subject of this interview. Outside of God Himself, no one would have thought some 51 years later I would interview Paula on the art of motherhood.
Read On Read Now: Paula, eleven children? That is an eyebrow raiser in 2019, but it was somewhat common in prior generations. My mother came from a family with fifteen children. Clearly, 11 children and two parents have different personalities, so there must have been some challenges.
Read On Read Now: Paula, eleven children? That is an eyebrow raiser in 2019, but it was somewhat common in prior generations. My mother came from a family with fifteen children. Clearly, 11 children and two parents have different personalities, so there must have been some challenges.
Paula Lawler: It is an eyebrow raiser in today’s society, unfortunately. Growing
up there were so many families with large families. There were only four girls
in my family, but we had many cousins, so it was a large family from that
perspective. My husband came from a family with nine children. We knew when we
were engaged that we wanted to have a large family, so we fulfilled that goal. There
is always activity in the home. I would say the one common bond that defines
our family is always having each other’s back. The children have a tight
relationship.They may annoy one another at times, but no one messes with their
siblings! We are a very close family.
Another common bond is humor. There is
always laughter when we are together.
Read On Read Now: Vacations with eleven children?
How did you and your husband manage time away with your large family?
Paula Lawler: Vacations with the family have been full of wonderful memories. Vacations
are important for anyone, since a change in scenery does the body good, no
matter the budget. Our family has done a variety of different trips over the
years. My husband’s family gets all the brothers, in-laws and cousins together
once a year for the annual camping trip in tents. When the children were
younger, most went on the camping trip while I stayed back with the little ones
who were too young for camping. When we
moved into our new home fifteen years ago, we decided to put a pool in the
backyard. A vacation in the backyard equals easy packing. I will say, packing for the crew was a lot to
manage, so I preferred to stay home when they were little. For the past couple of
years, we have rented homes on lakes to get away and relax with reading,
playing games and boating.
Read On Read Now: As I was reading your
book, I thought of public safety issues. What was your game plan when you took
your family to zoos, museums and other public facilities, venues and arenas?
Paula Lawler: Safety issues were a big deal when they were all small. When our youngest was born, the oldest had
just turned sixteen, so eleven children in sixteen years took some
organizing. We have a little age gap
between the tenth and eleventh child. So
when number ten was born, there were ten children in thirteen years. There were
funny stories along the way. One time,
we were leaving to go somewhere, pulled out of the garage, closed the garage
door and out came one of our sons. Oops,
we forgot one. From that point on, I
started doing a head count. I didn’t count how many kids were in the van. I
named them in order so I wouldn’t miss anyone.
Also, when they were little, I really would avoid crowded areas. I preferred grocery shopping on Monday
mornings when the stores were empty. I
would never go on a Saturday. I would go
to the libraries in the mornings during the week. I would take them to museums and zoos, but we
had a system. Again, never attended on Saturdays. The older one had a partner.
That older child was responsible for the younger child. I would have a double
stroller for two kids and have two hold on to the sides, one helped me push and
the rest probably knew to stay close. I really just generally avoided crowded
areas if at all possible as two year olds can move pretty quickly.
Lawler Family
Photo: Shannon Gallo
Courtesy of Paula Lawler
Photo: Shannon Gallo
Courtesy of Paula Lawler
Read On Read Now: You discuss date night?
Can you name some of your favorite date nights?
Paula Lawler: Who cares where we go, as long as we are out and it’s quiet! Haha! No, honestly little, cozy wine bars are
our favorite places for our date nights. The goal is to get out once a week.
We’re not perfect, but that’s the goal.
Read On Read Now: What or who inspired you
to write the book?
Paula Lawler: The Holy Spirit inspired me to write the book. I had given a couple of talks about organization
and motherhood, so I had done some of the work before. Then sitting on my front porch early one
summer morning, these thoughts started coming to me that I should compile all
of these thoughts and put them into a book so others could read and share. I believe we all have something to share and
learn from one another. I really heard Him tell me to write this. The thoughts
were coming so fast that I had a hard time writing so fast. I wrote pages and pages. Then the family woke up and I had to stop. I
put the legal pad of paper away for a year. I didn’t think about it or work on
it. Slowly after that I would pull it
out and work on it for approximately thirty minutes at a time. I would take it
with me when I was waiting at a child’s activity and work on it. I would work
on it while I was in line waiting to pick kids up from school. I never took
special time to vacation and write a book.
When a thought came to me, I would write it down. I give all the credit
to God. He gave me talents and asked me to share. He wants all of us to share.
None of our talents should be hidden under a bushel.
Read On Read Now: You clearly have a strong
base of faith. You have lived a highly admirable life. How did you keep
yourself and your family focused on the saving grace of Jesus Christ during
your life?
Paula Lawler: I have been able to keep our family focused on Jesus, because He
is everything! Nothing else matters. Our ultimate goal is heaven. I have always been a practicing Catholic, but
I have learned a lot along the way. I
had a period of my life (college years) when I hadn’t been to confession. Then
when I was about to be married, I went to confession and the flood gates of His
grace came pouring into me. I wanted to read and learn as much as I could. Most
of my friends up to that point had been Catholic, however were like me, not
properly catechized. I asked the Lord to put the right people in my path. He
sure did. Many solid Catholics came into my life. It matters who we surround
ourselves with. I learned so much. Then when my oldest was about to enter
Kindergarten, I realized she will have questions about the faith and I better
have answers. So I became a CCD teacher. I attended reflection evenings and
retreats. I couldn’t get enough information. I was receiving the sacraments
frequently. My faith grew and I try to share this with the children.
Read On Read Now: How do you manage
friendships while sustaining a successful family life with your husband,
children and your sisters?
Paula Lawler: I will be honest and say that I could probably improve in finding
time with friends. I do get out with my husband and we have couples that we get
together with on occasion. I spend time with my kids too and there isn’t a lot
of extra time. I really should be more organized and schedule a regular time
with a couple of friends.
Read On Read Now: Abortion laws are
becoming so extreme that it is becoming more frightening to any rational
thinker regarding respect for life. What has motivated you to stay pro-life.
Are there groups you choose to support as they fight for life?
Paula Lawler: This is such an important question! To me it is basic, natural law
to be pro-life. It is basic to think that marriage should be between one man
and one woman and they should come together with God and bring forth children.
It is basic to believe that life is sacred, that it deserves respect and
dignity from conception to natural death. Abortion is wrong. I believe deep
down, everyone knows that. However certain circumstances when women find
themselves expecting a child and aren’t ready, they want it to go away. They do
the unthinkable. They’re scared, alone, afraid of what others will think,
afraid their life will be interrupted. Our culture, or I should say the devil,
wants us to believe that life is about pleasing ourselves and getting ahead.
The devil is pretty slick. When people speak of being pro-choice, I say yes
women have the right to choose. The Lord gave us free will. The choice is to
have sex or not. If the couple chooses to have sex, that’s her choice. However
every choice brings forth a consequence.
Let’s go back to Kindergarten: Good choices bring good consequences and
bad choices bring bad consequences. That’s the choice. If a woman chooses to
have sex and become pregnant, the choice had already been made. The pregnancy
is the consequence. A woman’s normal instinct is to protect her child, just
like an animal protects her cub. It is unnatural to want to eliminate her
child. There are extreme cases such as rape and these cases are very
difficult. However abortion remains
wrong. There are options for women to provide help and support
such as women’s crisis pregnancy centers.
These centers are a wonderful oasis of support. In marriage, giving
ourselves freely to our spouse is so beautiful. When we live in the right order
that God designed, we find peace and happiness.
When we do things out of His order, life gets hard.
There are many pro-life groups we support and they are Illinois
Right to Life, Illinois Citizens for Life, Aid for Women and others. They are all good and worth supporting.
Photo credit: Maureen Dillenburg
Courtesy of Paula Lawler
"For you created my inmost being, you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful. I know that full well."
Psalm 139: 13-14
To purchase a copy of Paula's book, visit www.paulalawler.com.
Copyright (C) 2019 by Read On Red Now
Photo credit: Maureen Dillenburg
Courtesy of Paula Lawler
"For you created my inmost being, you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful. I know that full well."
Psalm 139: 13-14
To purchase a copy of Paula's book, visit www.paulalawler.com.
Copyright (C) 2019 by Read On Red Now
