Best Summer Songs for Your Party or for Just Feeling Good All Summer Long - All-Time Summer Songs

"The summer wind - came blowing in - from across the sea. It lingered there - to touch your hair and walk with me." Summer Wind - Lyrics by Johnny Mercer, music by Henry Mayer

For much of the world's population, summers are short. When you live in a climate that has long winters it is the yearly dream to have a long and lovely summer.

Summer grills, dips in the pool, walks of solace on paths, sidewalks and trails, bike rides, the long sought vacation, pulling out the flip-flops. Throwing an Independence Day party -  or a party to celebrate absolutely nothing. You must provide good food, thirst quenching beverages and music. Music is a must-have element at any party and in most cases you need to broaden your horizons with a variety of types of music, but not too much variety. You need to make the majority of your party attendees feel comfortable. When looking at the history of music, some recent material just doesn't fit. Here are the essentials.

Enjoy the summer. Stay safe and theme it all with the finest summer songs of all-time.

Summer Wind - A classic song from the legendary Frank Sinatra. Johnny Mercer's stunningly nostalgic take on a short-lived romance. One of the definitive songs from the Frank Sinatra catalog. The anthem of summer. The personification of the season.

Breezin' - George Benson. I defy anyone to listen to this unbelievable piece of music and not feel a little better. Enjoy life!

Summer - An absolutely beautiful song by the early 1970's band, War. This song defines a relaxed summer day. Get out the chaise lounge and settle in.

Summer in the City - The Lovin' Spoonful hit number one with this song on the billboard charts in August, 1966. Horns give you a feel of the city streets without worrying about current day violence.

Boys of Summer - A Don Henley jewel from his solo career. The 1980's didn't deliver much better than this track.

Surfin Safari - The Beach Boys are iconic and for a reason. Melodies that are complex and lyrics that are memorably repeatable. Their brand of the beach music scene surpassed any other act that even attempted this genre.

A Summer Song - Chad and Jeremy were an early part of the British invasion and this song still conjures up fond thoughts for the older baby boomers.

Theme from "A Summer Place" - A stunningly lovely piece of music. The movie is this side of please don't make me sit that through that again, but the song lives long. Haunting and gorgeous. Senior guests may actually remember thoughts of making out in the car.

Surfer Girl - One of the finest of the fine from the mind of Brian Wilson. The Beach Boys delivered harmonies in the same league with the Eagles. This song is a must play at any summer gathering.

Hot Fun In the Summertime - Sly and the Family Stone were way ahead of their time. They were doing Prince before Prince. Prince emulated Sly Stone's music. This song obviously solidified their entry into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

School’s Out - Alice Cooper! Speaking of being ahead of one's time. His brand of rock may not be everyone's go to, but this song reminds you of that last day of school. To this day, every August I think I have to go back to school. Well, school's out!

Heat Wave - 1963 saw Martha Reeves and the Vandellas deliver a downright anthem for summer. It's a rollicking roll through the summer solstice. Pure happiness in under three minutes.

Good Day Sunshine - The Beatles! Oh yeah. It's a good day whenever you hear the fab four, but this is a given at any summer get together.

All Summer Long - In some ways, it sounds like summer is just beginning and then the song fades to an end of summer run. The Beach Boys deliver another few minutes of recorded bliss.

Summer Soft - Stevie Wonder's sublime track from one of the great albums of all-time. This song appears on the 1976 collection entitled, Songs in the Key of Life. Your summer party needs to include this tribute to the three month summer fest.

Grazing in the Grass - The Friends of Distinction roll you through any barbecue or picnic in the park. Plain out fun track.

Montego Bay - Bobby Bloom's Jamaica tribute from 1970 makes you feel good and your guests will start singing along.

Late in the Evening - One of Paul Simon's greatest songs and that is saying something. He was a highly prolific music artist and this song lays down an admirable chord progression. 

Take it Easy - Jackson Browne and Glenn Frey co-wrote this song. It was the first single in the long and storied career of the Eagles. It first hit the radio airwaves in May, 1972. Randy Meisner sings the harmony vocals up front and Don Henley does the harmony vocal to close-out the song. Standin' on a corner in Winslow Arizona.

See You In September - The Happenings serve up a song to close out a summer. Remember that summer love or that spring love or that fall or winter love? Hopefully, you will see them in September.

Up On the Roof - Any version of this song works well at a party, but the James Taylor version has multiple reasons to give it a thumbs up vote for your celebration. Of course, the Drifters were one of the best of the early pop/rock acts. Listen to them both!

Walking on Sunshine - Another nice diversion from a one hit wonder from the 80's. There is no way you can sit still with this track. Feel good tune from Katrina and the Waves.

Dancing in the Moonlight - Interesting enough, this track was released in the middle of winter, but oh, what a party tune it is. If you have a nice moment, ask your spouse to dance around 10pm and hopefully, you get the moonlight.

Blue Bayou - Whether you are in the South or not isn't relevant, but for some reason it may help. Linda Ronstadt was the single most gifted female vocalist of the rock era and she zones in with this track.

A Beautiful Morning - The Rascals rouse you and wake you with this joyful track from 1968. It's a Beautiful Morning! Drenched in the Rascals' keyboard sound this one will make you lift out of a sound sleep.

Lovely Day - Bill Withers calms you and gives you a kick while you are jumping in the pool or laying in the sun. Take a walk.

Here Comes the Sun - George Harrison wrote this song while he was sitting in his garden. It still works in a garden or anywhere else for that matter.

Sailing - You don't have to be out on the water, but if you are you just one-upped your summer song list. Christopher Cross never sounded so good.

Wonderful Summer - Robin Ward's little ditty from 1963 made it a one hit wonder. Lay back and close your eyes.

Those Lazy Hazy Crazy Days of Summer - Overall, not one of the best songs from the Nat King Cole catalog, but you can't resist the tune when you are in the realm of summer songs. He recorded that song not long before his death.

Summer Lovin - A track from the Grease soundtrack will engage those from all age brackets. It still works nearly 50 years after the release of this movie musical.

Summer of '69 - Bryan Adams got his first real six string. Good tune that takes you out of the 60's and 70's for a bit.

California Nights - An obscure song from the 1960's. Lesley Gore was produced by Quincy Jones (Frank Sinatra and Michael Jackson) and she turned in some of the quintessential "girl" songs from the era, but this song has a kick like no other song from her catalog. Fantastic sound and a must-have at any summer party.

Kokomo - The Beach Boys scored again in the 1980's with this absolute classic. Oh yeah, I'm going to the beach.

I Can See Clearly Now - It's going to be a bright, sunshiny day. You never miss with this song. Johnny Nash delivers one of the best songs ever.

Sunny Afternoon - An odd entry into the catalog of the Kinks, but it's just different enough to add a bit of additional flavor to your track list.

Saturday in the Park - It's so summer-bent that you have to include it on any list of this nature. One of Chicago's most famous songs is embedded in the summer musical catalog.

Waiting on a Sunny Day - A breeze of a song from Bruce Springsteen. One of his brighter moments from the last part of his career.

Pretty World - A delightfully sunny tune from Sergio Mendes & Brasil '66. Yes, the Brasil is spelled correctly. This song is as smooth as satin. Lani Hall's vocals were unbeatable during the era. A highly underrated and undervalued vocalist.

Surfin' U.S.A. - Another Beach Boys entry. Quite honestly, you can host an entire summer party event with one of the multiple collections of the Beach Boys' greatest hits. Fun, fun, fun.

Wake Up Sunshine - One of Chicago's finest moments with Peter Cetera and Robert Lamm splitting the vocals. Great tune.

Stoned Soul Picnic - This is an upbeat tune that revels in its summerness. The Fifth Dimension provided some of pop's best vocals.

Sunset Grill - A Don Henley song with the gentle slope of a summer walk in the sand.

The Summer Knows (Theme Song from Summer of '42) - End the evening with this lovely piece of music. Wow. I love summer!

Copyright (C) 2013 by Read On Read Now

Interview with Kerry Reis - Author of Legacy Discovered

 Kerry Reis

Kerry Reis is the author of the recently released novel, Legacy Discovered. Kerry was born in Oregon and grew up in Jacksonville, Florida. As an undergraduate, he attended the University of California at Los Angeles, where he graduated with a Bachelor’s in motion picture and television arts. He worked for ABC Television for twenty eight years and became the associate director of digital broadcast communications for the Disney ABC Television Group. He supported not only ABC network programming, but also original programming across all of the Disney ABC cable properties.

He has travelled extensively throughout the United States and Europe. He currently live in Los Angeles, California.

JT: Kerry, LEGACY DISCOVERED is your first published novel. What led you to write the book?

Kerry: The main inspiration for the story of Legacy Discovered was the classic 1970s movie, Love Story; which I happened to see for the first time a little over a year ago. Even though I wasn't wowed by the movie itself, I was intrigued by the basic premise of love between the classes and wondered what if Oliver had wed Jenny without revealing who he really was. By the next day, I had a basic concept worked out and was planning to outline a TV movie screenplay. However, a month later, I was called into the boss' office where I was informed that I was being laid off due to department restructuring. I had heard of the emerging technology of self-publishing and decided to change my potential screenplay into a novel to be self-published.



JT: Is Legacy Discovered a love story or a mystery?

Kerry: When my friends started to add mystery as a genre in describing the story, I was hesitant to adopt this classification. Now you have added thriller, which is a step up the genre ladder. For potential readers, I feel the need to provide a disclaimer here that the mystery and thriller elements do not entail a police procedural, a private detective investigation, a murdered body with many suspects, an international spy entanglement or a high powered criminal plot. Basically, the elements of mystery and thrills which readers have found in the book were driven by the plot and concept. These are questions that I had to answer in order to keep my story plausible and my characters relatable. Why would a man go to such extremes to run and hide from a life of privilege and why would he hide the truth from the one person he falls in love with? What were the extremes he took to accomplish this deception by successfully faking his death? When the truth suddenly comes out years later, how would his family, past and present handle the consequences? To answer these questions for the reader required a structure of mystery and thrills at times, but the story's core is basically a love story where a woman finds the strength to support the man she loves so he can face what he had been running from at the beginning.

JT: Where did your great love of mysteries come from?

Kerry: I am, at heart, a mystery buff, and my favorite mystery writer is Agatha Christie, starting from the time I bought the sixty cent paperback of The A.B.C. Murders in seventh grade. I have all of her mystery books, most in paperback, plus one of her romance novels that she wrote under the name Mary Westmacott. After reading the one Westmacott romance, I did not feel the need to get the other four romances to add to my Christie collection. Along with her classics, Murder on the Orient Express, And Then There Were None and The Body in the Library, I have a special admiration for a lesser known mystery, Murder in Retrospect, where detective Hercule Poirot seeks to discover which of five suspects was really responsible for the death of an artist over a decade ago whose wife was tried, convicted and executed for the crime, all for the couple's daughter hoping to know the truth before her own marriage. The story, despite being mainly a mystery, proves to be as much a romance when the truth is revealed.

JT: What are the best mystery films of all-time?

Kerry: As far as films are concerned, the master is still Alfred Hitchcock, with Rear Window, Vertigo, North by Northwest, Psycho, Strangers on a Train and The Trouble with Harry leading the way. Composition, editing, color or black-and-white lighting, comic underlays, ironic touches and tight storytelling are all masterful tools in manipulating the audience. I learned a lot in studying his films.

JT: I think it's difficult to write a great love story in today's day and age. What are your thoughts about that?

Kerry: I do not think it is harder to tell a believable love story today than it has been throughout history. Beyond the physical, love is about giving, commitment, support, acceptance and community, concepts that many times conflict with a polarized modern society and an economy that is strongly consumer based. Currently, promotion finds it easier to cater to a consumer's baser desires and entertainment businesses give deference to performers and writers that gravitate to easy promotion. I feel a good love story seeks to find the balance between two individuals in a society, which is very much like finding the delicate balance between the individual and the society as a whole. The reader or audience may have to work harder to feel the full expression of love, but will ultimately be more satisfied in the end.

JT: What are the great love stories from your perspective?

Kerry: O'Henry's The Gift of the Magi is one of the sweetest and inspiring love stories in the most ironic way. In movies, I enjoy the lighter touch of romance. It Happened One Night and Roman Holiday are essentially the same story until the final resolution, when the former expresses the American ideal that social structures should embrace and encourage the true love between individuals while the latter expresses the Eurocentric concept that sometimes love between individuals must be sacrificed for social responsibility. Together, I see the constant struggle to find the proper balance between individual desires and social responsibilities. When Harry Met Sally, Sleepless in Seattle, Hitch and The Holiday are some of my recent favorites.

JT: Did you imagine these characters or where they inspired by people you know?

Kerry: Quite honestly, I cannot think of any characteristics from my friends that may be within my characters. Ali and Ryan were named after Ali MacGraw and Ryan O'Neal, the actors who portrayed the lead characters in Love Story, which inspired Legacy Discovered, but that is the closest I came to basing the characters on real individuals.

JT: Where are you from originally and how did you end up where you are? 

Kerry: Even though I was born in Oregon, my parents moved on to Rhode Island before my first birthday, so I have no youthful memories of my time there. However, I went back to Oregon on my own while in college to meet my godparents that I never knew growing up and again a few years later with my parents after I graduated. I was born in Burns, a small town in the eastern Oregon desert region. The town was so small that my mother was able to point to the window of the hospital room where I was born as we drove by two decades later.

Growing up in Jacksonville, Florida was a different story. It is hard to define one or two distinct experiences that define this time. We lived in a subdivision thirty or forty minutes west of downtown. My dad was constantly traveling for his job. My mother worked for an accountant in the downtown area. I went to the elementary school two blocks from my house. I was basically a shy geek at school. I was the school's champion speller in fifth grade and given my own math book by my sixth grade teacher to work on my own. It was determined I needed to be challenged to meet my capabilities, so starting in seventh grade, I was enrolled in a small private school that was just across the county border south of Jacksonville, forty to fifty minutes away from my home by school bus. It made me used to the idea of commuting before I came out to Los Angeles.

JT: Did you always want to be involved in media?

Kerry: What challenged me the most in school was the creative aspects of English. I wanted to create and write stories, and I dreamed of those stories on TV or movies. I felt like I needed to just explore this world to understand it and not tie myself down with a strict regimen of college. However, when my father caught wind of my idea about not going to college, he announced his edict that "the question wasn't whether, it was where." Shortly thereafter this pronouncement, I was watching college football on ABC Sports one Saturday. The game was UCLA at Tennessee. At the time, ABC provided each college a chance during halftime to promote themselves with a five minute taped piece. UCLA featured its film and television college. Despite recommendations to the contrary, I only applied and was accepted to one college, UCLA, even though I did not see the campus until two weeks before classes started. Perhaps it was ironic that it was ABC that pointed me to UCLA.

JT: You have a great love of travel? What are the roots of that passion?

Kerry: The best way to answer these questions is to provide you with the philosophy of my travels. My passion for travel derives from my desire to experience and learn about new things and to expand my perspective of the cultures, geography and history of the world around me. I look for the best in the cities, countries and sites that I visit and blend them into the mosaic of the world as I see it. For this reason, I have not really created a ranking or order with the places I have visited. I think I have been very lucky to have visited some iconic places at the best times and in the best weather - the Matterhorn without the usual mountain clouds that condense around its tip; Pompeii just off season to enjoy it with near empty streets and no crowds; Redwoods National Park and Crescent City on a rare fogless day for excellent viewing. I try to be prepped to be an open and good guest wherever I go which I find encourages hosts to be better to me. Hotels are rarely memorable to me unless they fail to provide a good bed and food service or their location turns out to be tied to the well-known site I am visiting like the cabin next to Old Faithful at Yellowstone National Park. Most of my European trips have been with a reputable tour agency whose tours schedule time for individual exploration within the group schedule. For many new travelers, this would be the way to get started. In the US, a well-planned, yet open-to-improvisational road trip is still the best method. The best out of the ordinary place any traveler should discover is something relatable to them, which brings me to my favorite location. My mother and I took a tour of Switzerland in 2000. My grandfather's family had come from Switzerland, so we arranged on our open day of the tour in Lucerne to take the train to Bern and meet up with distant cousins. After they met us enthusiastically at the train station, they drove us east to just south of Interlaken into the Diemtig valley on a beautiful day. They drove and parked next to an old chalet with three storage sheds backed by an Alpine peak. It was the home where my great-grandfather was born and raised. At that moment, I truly felt connected to the world.

JT: You were close to your mother and enjoyed travelling with her after your dad passed away. Tell me about your final trip with your mom? 

Kerry: On our last trip together we returned and there was jaundice in her face. This led to the discovery of her pancreatic cancer. A year later, I drove her through a quick weekend trip through the Smoky Mountains National Park, which proved to be the final journey. Since her death, I have done three solo road trips, visiting more national parks. I have visited 32 of the designated 59 national parks and have a bucket list to visit them all. I would like to step foot on every continent and visit many other world wonders, recording them through my camera along the way.

JT: You have a particular love of the national parks.  I know you have the desire to visit every one of them. You've been to over 30 of them. If you could revisit three of them where would Kerry go?

Kerry: I am so impressed with the wonders and knowledge I have accumulated by visiting the national parks that I would have no problem returning to any of them. However, I do have unfinished business with three of the ones I have visited. When I was on my Arizona road trip a few years ago, I reached Saguaro National Park late in the day after the visitor center had closed. I got some good photos within the twilight hours, but I did not get a souvenir deck of playing cards. For an upcoming New Mexico/Texas national park road trip I have on hold, I plan on stopping at Saguaro, check out the western portion of the park and see if they have a deck of cards. I collect decks of cards.

Some years earlier, when my mother and her friend came out to join me on a road trip of California, I had scheduled the tour to include driving through Lassen Volcanoes National Park in northern California. However, that year the west coast enjoyed a wetter season than usual and the snowpack kept many Sierra roads closed well into June. We were only able to enter the park from the south entrance and go a few miles in. I want to take the full road tour through the park to see its full glory.

Finally, Acadia National Park was the second national park I saw and the first one I got to explore over a day. A friend and I visited the park on a summer road trip when I came back home after my first year at UCLA. It was also a few years before I was able to buy my first decent camera, so my only pictures of the visit are the prints from a disposable Kodak camera. I want to re-explore Acadia with my digital Nikon.

JT: Tell us a bit about your long and successful career at the ABC Television Network?

Kerry: I consider myself to be very lucky to have had the career I've had at ABC, including the opportunity to meet and interact with so many well-known creative individuals. For the most part, I kept my professionalism with these interactions, but sometimes I have been off, usually to my embarrassment. When Twin Peaks became the cult hit of the network, a themed party with the cast was planned at the semi-annual Press Tour event with the Television Critics Association which was being held at the historic Century Plaza Hotel. The press party was being held at the Plaza level, but the cast was being assembled prior to the party in the Presidential Suite on the top floor of the hotel. Since there were two banks of elevators on either side of the hotel, the northern elevators were taken out of service for our reserved use to take the cast down directly to the party. However, as I was heading down the top floor hall to guide the cast to the northern elevators, I was shocked to discover that the cast was already being directed to the southern elevators. Quickly, I rushed down to where the cast was waiting at the elevators and blurted out, "Wait! We are holding the other elevators for you. These will have regular people in them!" In response, Kimmy Robertson, one of the cast members, raised her hands in mock shock and screamed out, "Oh, no! Regular people!" The cast rode down in the southern elevators, leaving me flushed with embarrassment.

JT: Of all the actors you worked with who was your favorite?

Kerry: One of the finest actors I had the privilege of working with was John Ritter. Leading into the May episodes of the first season of 8 Simple Rules, I produced a satellite interview tour with John and co-star Katey Sagal promoting a special episode tied to a national organization which used bake sales as a fund raising tool. In a bit of creativity, we had the caterer bring in bake sale goodies, cupcakes and cookies, which we placed on a table in front of John and Katey for the interviews. It just so happened that the satellite tour was on the same day as my sister's birthday, so I asked the publicist if there would be any problem with me taking a photo with John and Katey that I could e-mail to my sister with my birthday wishes and told the satellite studio about my plans. The studio had the caterer add one more item to the bake sale table - a birthday cake - just for this photo. After the interviews, Katey quietly sat in her chair as I stood behind them, but John picked up that birthday cake, held it for the camera to see while pointing to it with his other hand and gave a wide open smile that screamed "Happy Birthday!" My e-mail to my sister simply said, "I and a few of my friends wanted to wish you a happy birthday today." A printed copy of that e-mail was framed and hung in my mother's dining room. Four months later, John was stricken on set and passed away, a week after I had given him upcoming birthday wishes at another press event.

JT: Television has changed dramatically over the years. Walk us through a major change that occurred while you were at ABC?

Kerry: Television programming is a risky game. Sometimes shows with great promise fail and sometimes shows are passed up that later prove to be big hits. Shortly after ABC was bought by Disney, our broadcast publicity department was called upon to add support for Touchstone Studios productions outside of the network. This included creating clip reels for Touchstone pilots picked up by other networks for their schedules. I was given a pilot for a series that had been passed up by ABC, but had been picked up by CBS. I loved it and selected some great clips for promotion. It had interesting characters, great atmosphere and sharp storytelling elements. I felt ABC should not have passed up on this series. The series was a co-production between Touchstone and another production company. Shortly thereafter, Touchstone felt the production was so expensive that the only way to make money on the series would be if it was a top ten show, so they sold their half of the production and rights to the partner production company. The series? CSI.

JT: CSI is my favorite procedural from the last 15 years. The first five or six seasons were outstanding television.  I was there during this time and I felt the same way. Superb development process on that show. Steve McPherson, the former President at ABC Entertainment developed that show. It's still good and it just got picked up for another season. 

Kerry: The television networks rose quickly on the strength of technology, so quickly their feared powers of control were legally constrained by the FCC's Fin-Syn (Financial Interest and Syndication) rules, but while they were fighting the strictures of these rules, the rise of new technologies from cable to digital distribution was steadily undercutting their once-captive audience. What is ironic is that the Fin-Syn rules were designed to protect the struggling movie studios from being overrun by the three networks. Yet when they were eventually abolished, it was the studios that bought up the networks. So, Fin-Syn and digital technology would be my number one and two influences on the rise and fall of the networks' empire.

JT: What were the best shows at ABC while you were there?

Kerry: There were so many, I do not know if I can remember them all. When I first started in the in-house print shop, the final season of The Greatest American Hero was on. ABC was the network for the Olympics, so I was able to enjoy free passes to some of the events at the Los Angeles Olympics. Monday Night Football was a primetime sports legend for ABC. Moonlighting matched fresh face Bruce Willis with Cybill Shepherd. Roseanne created a stir to the schedule. Not many people will remember that Home Improvement beat Seinfeld in their first season head-to-head match-up, forcing NBC to move Seinfeld to Thursdays. The Wonder Years was a sweet delight in looking at growing up in the pre-teen years. NYPD Blue challenged the FCC rules on language and butts. Mini-series ruled from North and South, The Day After, The Bourne Identity (starring Richard Chamberlain, not the more recent Matt Damon features), Creature and Stephen King's The Stand to name a few. Twin Peaks brought on the rise of cult television, which led to Alias and Lost. Who Wants to be a Millionaire? led the reality age. The Practice and Boston Legal were stalwarts. Desperate Housewives dramedy style became the rage. Grey's Anatomy is still going strong. Community service reality programming was well represented by Extreme Makeover Home Edition.

JT: You are a gifted photographer. Share with us how you got where you are with your art?

Kerry:  From an early age, I had an inner passion for photography, but somehow it was hard to impress that on my parents. When I was enrolled into private school for my high school years, I was excited, because the school had a photography club so I could learn the techniques of photography. All I needed was a camera, so I asked my parents to buy me one. They did - a Polaroid Square Shooter. I wasn't able to join the photo club and I wasn't able to buy my own Nikon until after I had graduated from college. I am self taught in my photo skills and so far it is still just a hobby to record my travels.

JT: With the success of Legacy Discovered will you be writing another book?

Kerry: Now that I have one under my belt, I would certainly hope so. I have been kicking around another love story. It would be more of a lighter romance. I am also thinking about a pilot script I wrote over twenty years ago with a female private eye as the main character which I did get an ABC executive to read at the time, even though it never went farther. Perhaps the story and character could be updated. However, at the moment, I have been busy self-promoting Legacy Discovered, doing some volunteer work and helping a few friends.

Legacy Discovered can be purchased at amazon.com. 

Copyright (C) 2013 by Read On Read Now

INTERVIEW WITH KEN ABRAHAM - AUTHOR OF WHEN YOUR PARENT BECOMES YOUR CHILD

When Your Parent Becomes Your Child: A Journey of Faith Through My Mother's Dementia is a superb read. My father died from Alzheimer's seven years ago, after battling the disease for 12 years. Since my mom is now living through the aging process I was even more inclined to seek this book out. She doesn't have Alzheimer's disease, but she has slowed down, to say the least. I loved my dad and I love my mom; and the love that literally flies off the pages of this book will give you a reboot in relationships and in life itself. My mom moved in with me recently and in many ways she has become like my child. I prepare her breakfast area in the morning before I head out to work, I prepare her dinner when I return from work. I help her get into and out of the shower. The list of life's experiences that we share is - well, endless. I enjoy sharing my life with my mom. It was with that in mind that I read this book.  

Ken Abraham is a New York Times best-selling author. He has collaborated with many high profile individuals, including Lisa Beamer on Let's Roll!, and George Foreman on God in My Corner. He has also written with Tracey Stewart on the Payne Stewart biography. Other collaborators include; Chuck Norris, Bill Gaither, Joe Gibbs and Vestal Goodman.

I’d like to thank Ken Abraham for this interview and I want to thank him for writing this book! This book is available at www.christianbooks.com and at www.amazon.com.  

JT: Were you keeping a journal during this period of time or was much of the book written from memory? 

Ken: Although the memories of our experience are indelibly impressed in my mind, I didn’t write from memory, but more from fragments of notes I kept over the years as my mom slipped into dementia.   

Initially, in casual conversations, my wife Lisa and I often reminded each other of funny, sad, or poignant incidents about my mom. I’d write them down on scraps of paper, throw them on my desk until I had time to enter them into a document on my computer. I wasn’t really planning to write a book about Alzheimer’s, I merely wanted to remember these things to share with our daughters about their grandmother. When we began searching for helpful materials that addressed not only the physical and psychological aspects of dementia, but the spiritual aspects as well, we found little current material available from a Christian perspective.   

To us, the most important questions were: What do we need to know to best deal with mom’s mental state and how do we honor my mom in a Christ-like manner and still maintain any semblance of normalcy in our lives? 

Two books that touched me regarding “end of life experiences” were Mitch Albom’s Tuesdays with Morrie, and Randy Pausch’s The Last Lecture.  Though not written from a Christian viewpoint, both were short books with strong emotional stories.  When I decided to write, I wanted to tell stories about my mom’s experience that would point people to Jesus, because that’s what her life was all about.

JT: My family found out later that personality changes we remembered with my dad from a few years before his diagnosis actually mattered. They were indicators of what was to come, but none of us knew that at the time.You mention that you weren't particularly alarmed by memory lapses and other personality trends with your mom because you wrote it off to getting old. Any advice to readers about special things to make note of when watching their parents grow old? 

Ken: Although I’m embarrassed to admit it, part of the reason I wasn’t alarmed at my mom’s memory lapses is that I was clueless about the possible warning signs of Alzheimer’s. Even after she was diagnosed, I remained in denial for several months until my own research convinced me that what her doctor was describing was accurate.   

One of the key signs I wish I had understood was her inability to follow a story line, whether in a book or on television. My mom was always an avid reader (especially of the Bible) and she was a good story-teller for most of her life. As the dementia set in, she stopped reading, got bored quickly watching television movies, and couldn’t follow anything other than a game show.   

Misplacing items and not remembering to take her medications were also behaviors that I regarded as mildly irritating, but not unusual. I was wrong.  They were serious indicators that the dementia was setting in and I missed them. 

JT: When you discussed your mom's move to Nashville, as a reader, I felt at peace. I felt I knew your mom and Nashville seemed like the only place for Minnie. What conversations took place with your family? Was there one person (obviously, you come off as that person in the book) in the family who just naturally took the lead through the entire journey? 

Ken: Surprisingly, the person who led the way in suggesting and facilitating the move of my mom from Orlando to Nashville was my wife, Lisa.  My brothers and I talked logistics and finances, but Lisa saw the emotional need for my mom to be around family members more frequently.  I could not—and as I mention in the book—I would not have initiated the move without Lisa’s full cooperation.  Husbands and wives and even children need to discuss and understand as much as possible what is involved in caring for a loved one who can no longer care for himself or herself. We had frank discussions with our kids, telling them in advance that “Grandma Minnie” might say or do some things that were out of character for the grandma they had known previously. 

Most of my conversations with my brothers were about mom’s need to see and talk to them on a regular basis.  They knew that, but that was one of her fears in moving, that she would no longer be in contact with her family members in Florida. I assured her that planes fly in both directions, and for the first year or two of her stay in Nashville, we were able to fly her back and forth.  After that, she could no longer fly by herself, or manage the myriad details in getting through a major airport. 

JT: What do you say to those that have a sense of guilt about placing a parent in an assisted living or nursing home environment? What do you say to people who literally cannot afford to place a parent in a home outside of the dreaded facilities that Medicaid will pay for?  

Ken: The Alzheimer’s Association estimates that there are currently more than 15 million unpaid caregivers attempting to care for loved ones with Alzheimer’s and dementia. Over half of these people are caring for someone in their own home.  Most are caring for parents, though some are caring for spouses.  

That is a wonderful situation for as long as it works, and it is part of our spiritual obligation to care for our parents and to honor them.  When it becomes clear that more intensive or round the clock care is necessary, or that the care is taking too high a toll on you or your own family members, you cannot allow guilt to prevent you from doing what is best for all concerned.  In our case, we moved our mom to “independent living” facilities for as long as possible.  As difficult as that was—moving her out of the home she had occupied for more than fifty years—she needed the interaction with other people that living in a “communal” atmosphere provided.   

The move to a nursing home—longterm care facility—was more emotionally wrenching for me.  By that time, mom was not able to care for herself, and we were being run ragged trying to care for her.  I finally had to establish a habit of thanking God every day as I was leaving the nursing home—thanking Him that she was in a safe place, that there were people there who loved her and cared for her, and thanking Him that as much as possible, I was trying to obey His leading in providing the best care I could give.  Did I ever feel guilty?  Absolutely.  Satan was quick to taunt any time I took a vacation or did anything for myself that took me away from being at the nursing home.  As with any sort of spiritual oppression, I had to come against that in the Name of Jesus, and know that my mom’s life was in His hands, not mine.    

JT: How did you encourage your siblings to do more? 

Ken: At every opportunity, I reminded my brothers that mom missed them and was looking forward to their calls or visits. I never once scolded them, or even hinted that they were not doing enough. We all live with the choices we make, so I wanted to make sure that I had no regrets about how I contributed to our mom’s well-being.  

My siblings were great about calling our mom, and even visiting from Florida for a few days at a time.  They could never have done enough, as far as mom was concerned, because she wanted to see them and be with them every day.  One of the ways I tried to encourage communication was by calling my brothers from the nursing home and allowing my mom to talk to them on my cell phone. If your family members are not local, obtaining a cell phone package with unlimited calls is a good idea.  I tried to call each visit, so in addition to my family members’ calls, cards, and photographs, we also used some interactive computer services (skype, ichat, etc.).  Anything to stay connected. 

JT: You discuss the hoarding of fruit. Has anyone ever told you where the hoarding aspect of the disease comes from?  

Ken: I’ve not found any clinical information that explains this phenomenon, but the tendency toward insecurity, possessiveness, and fear can only be overcome spiritually. I also suggest large garbage bags!  We cleaned out my mom’s refrigerator on a regular basis, discarding apples, bananas, cups of coffee, and all sorts of other things, to which she had ready and unlimited access, so her actions did not stem from need, but the hoarding persisted.  

JT: One of my favorite passages in the book is when you relay the following from your mom. "I never thought I'd be in this situation, not able to take care of myself. I don't want to be a burden on you. Maybe I should get a job." At that point in the book, I put it down and wept. My mom has made comments like this and it breaks my heart. You wrote that you didn't know whether to laugh or cry. What did you do? 

Ken: That was indeed a poignant moment for me.  As I recall, initially I laughed and told her that I was going to get her a job delivering early morning newspapers.  That was not a good answer, because her quick response was: “Well, if I only had a car . . . .”

Not going to happen!   

Later, of course, when I thought of her having such a strong work ethic all her life, and that now she was relegated to sorting and folding wash clothes for the umpteenth time—wash clothes there were not even used, as one of the residents noted—the tears came easily.  Still, I tried to find ways that Mom could feel useful. 

JT: How did your faith get you through this?     

Ken: I had to constantly remind myself that “life has purpose,” that she was not still here outside of God’s knowledge, that the very fact that my mom was still living meant that there were things He wanted to do in her and through her . . . and of course, in me.  That didn’t always make it easy, but that awareness that life at every stage is good when it is lived for Him helped keep the feelings of despair and depression at bay.         

Knowing without a doubt that my mom was a Christian was a tremendous encouragement, as well; that the moment she breathed her last here on earth, she would be alive in heaven.  That knowledge evoked a confidence as we faced each step of her demise.

JT: You describe the missed moments to the bathroom more than once in the book. I must admit this is the most difficult part of the struggle of watching a parent age. What was the most difficult aspect of your mom's decline for you to watch? 

Ken: Bathroom incidents are no fun, regardless of the age of the person for whom you are caring. The most disconcerting element to me was not cleaning the mess, but dealing with the indignity my mom was suffering. Always a conservative, modest Christian woman, she was now “letting it all hang out.” She would have been shocked at herself! The complete role reversal struck me, as well, that I was now putting diapers on the person who once put diapers on me.     

JT: My paternal grandmother spent the final couple of years of her life in a nursing home. I was in my 20's at the time. I visited her about once every couple of months. I now think of her often and say to myself - why didn't you go to see your grandmother? She was lonely. I wish I could live that period of my life over. I loved the way you describe your dad's visits with your Aunt Anna.  Share with us how you told your children about the importance of visiting their grandmother. 

Ken: I emphasized to our children that “Grandma Minnie” had always been there for us, that she had sacrificed much in her life to help us, that she never missed sending birthday and Christmas gifts to each of us, and most importantly, she prayed for each of us by name every day of our lives.  Now, I stressed, it was our turn to be there for her.  For the record, I was not above using guilt and manipulation with our teen aged daughters!  “After all grandma has done for you, the least you could do is to go visit her for an hour!”  Thankfully, our daughters didn’t require a lot of coercing or cajoling to visit their grandmother.  The issue was more a matter of finding the time, especially once they were away at college.         

Watching old home movies in which mom was her “normal self” was helpful, as well, allowing our kids to see their grandmother as the truly fun, creative, and loving person that she was before the dementia set in and robbed her of so much. Our girls were good about expressing love to their grandmother through hugs and kisses and touches, an important missing ingredient in the lives of many who are afflicted with dementia. 

JT: The physical dilemma of your mom's amputation was an additional suffering for her. Where did you find the strength and patience to live through this period of your mom's life passage? 

Ken: Dealing with the physical amputations of my mom’s toes and more than a third of her right foot was the most heart-wrenching aspect of her downhill journey for me to observe.  Although she was in severe pain, she rarely complained until the very end of her life. The helplessness that those lost toes represented was emotionally difficult to handle.  Moreover, because playing the piano had been such a major part of my mom’s life, her inability to use her right foot on the piano pedals spelled the end of a way of life to her, and to me.  Certainly, she could still use her hands to play, and she did, but she was too good of a musician to be content with that. Had she not been so far along the way, we may have attempted to devise some way for her to press the pedals without using her feet, but that would have required new information in the short term memory banks, and mom’s short term memory ability was virtually nonexistent at that point. 

The day she first realized that her toes were gone, “I can’t find my toes”—nearly four months after the operations—will always be a difficult memory for me.  Yet her upbeat attitude though obviously tainted by the dementia, will always be an example for me, as well.  “Yeah, they’re probably around here somewhere.” 

JT: I completely related to your conversation with God. What is the lesson He wanted you to learn? 

Ken: Unquestionably, the Lord was reminding me that “His grace is sufficient for me” or for anyone who trusts in Him; and my mom certainly trusted Him all through her life, all the way to heaven. He was teaching me that His power is indeed manifested, perhaps especially in our weaknesses. As I say in the book, mom not only taught me how to live; she taught me how to die.  To the very end, her faith in God never wavered, and that was part of the lesson for me, too—we are called to be “overcomers,” and that involves some difficulty that must be faced and overcome. 

JT: When your mom was pleading with Jesus to come to take her home I wept again. Scripture tells us we will recognize those we knew here.  How much comfort and peace do the words of God give you during your thoughts of your mom?      

Ken: It comes down to whether we truly believe in Jesus or not.  Jesus Himself is the One who said I am going to prepare a place for you, and I will come again . . . if it were not so, I would have told you  (John 14:1-3). 

I believe in Jesus; my mom believed in Jesus and she was not afraid to die. She had absolute faith that she would be going to heaven. What a wonderful way to face death—and what a marvelous way to face life!

The promise of Jesus provides comfort and peace, and also hope that we will see my mom again—whole, with her new body, no dementia, with feet and toes that can move with ease. God’s presence by His Spirit provides an awareness that He is guiding us in the right direction, that despite the obstacles, the moments of pain or tears, He is with us, and He will see us through. 

JT: Quite honestly, I can't imagine life without my mom. What would you tell me? 

Ken: I’m a realist. My mom was a major part of my life, so I miss her every day. At the same time, knowing that I will see her again motivates me and gives me incredible confidence to face each new day. 

Two things are important in regard to life without mom: one, it is so important that you make every day count now, while you have your parent with you. Certainly, at times that means reshuffling your priorities and responsibilities.  I’m a self-confessed, non-recovering workaholic. I can and often do work 16 to 20 hours a day, but it was important that I walk away from work to take time with my mom.  The work will be there . . . she is not.  

As a family, we made special efforts to include her in our lives.  We took her with us everywhere—to parties, to church services, to weddings, baby showers, and funerals.  She shared life with us.  Even when she could not remember what day it was, we took her out in a wheelchair for ice cream. We celebrated every birthday and holiday together.  Was it always convenient or even fun?  Of course not.  Was it worth it?  I’d do it all again and more if I had the opportunity. 

The second important aspect of life without mom is fundamental to our faith—we truly believe in eternal life with Christ in heaven, so when a Christian parent passes away, it is not the end, but the beginning.  Surely, we mourn our loss, but we do not mourn as those who have no hope.  We know that we will see our loved ones again, and that helps us to remember the positive things.  Every day, I pass by a picture of my mom—the one of her sitting in a wheelchair and playing the piano—and I smile and say something such as, “You don’t need that wheelchair any more do you?”  Someday, she will answer me in person. 

JT: You mention the conversation about being relieved? That bothered me even though I expected to see it pop up somewhere. Why do you think people react that way? 

Ken: I took such statements in the best light possible. I truly believe most people who say such things mean well and have good intentions. They must think a person who goes through a long bout with a parent’s debilitating disease is anxious for that time to conclude, so life can get back to “normal.” They may not realize how it sounds to callously suggest that we are relieved now that my parent is dead, and I no longer have the responsibility of caring for him or her.   

          As I tried to convey in various ways throughout the book, it was a privilege to care for my mom.  No, it wasn’t always easy; but it was always worth it. 

JT: The Alzheimer's Association provides tremendous assistance and advice. From your perspective what are the top five items people should be on the lookout for with their loved ones and their life changes. 

Ken: The Alzheimer’s Association website provides invaluable free information for anyone dealing with dementia—everything from recognizing symptoms to managing financial matters in trying to care for our loved ones.   

I found their advice to change the subject rather than to attempt clarifying or arguing with someone with dementia to be especially helpful.  That is the number one tip I offer in dealing with dementia: Rather than argue, change the subject.  Your loved one won’t remember the contentious issue a few minutes from now.   

Certainly, memory matters should not be ignored, undue suspicions and paranoia may also indicate the onset of Alzheimer’s; confusion about places, times, dates, names of people that your parent previously recognized easily all may be signs that it is time to see a geriatric doctor.  Losing or misplacing personal items was a big sign to us. Changes in personality, including the uncharacteristic use of profanity or general rudeness is significant, as well.    

JT: You've written books with Lisa  Beamer, Tracey Stewart, Jorge Valdes, Joe Gibbs, Vestal Goodman and many others. What were the major differences when it came to writing your story? Your beloved mom's story? 

Ken: I’ve been privileged to help a number of “world-changers” tell their stories, and in many of them, I’ve been a combination of a friend, counselor, pastor, amateur psychologist, as well as an author. It is always a thrill to see how God uses these stories to touch people’s lives. 

To me, WHEN YOUR PARENT BECOMES YOUR CHILD is far and away the most special book I have ever written.  When I first broached the subject to publishers and editors, many of them said, “That’s admirable that you want to do this, Ken, but it will never sell.  People don’t want to read about dementia.” 

My response was: “You may be right, but I know there is a need for this sort of book, and hopefully it will be helpful, encouraging, and that it will find a way to people’s hearts.” 

  In some ways, it was more difficult emotionally than any previous books I’ve written, and in other ways it was far easier, simply because I attempted to share my own heart with readers. In a real sense, I felt that I was writing on behalf of many people who could share similar stories—that indeed, in some way, they could say, “That sounds exactly like what I am experiencing with mom or dad.”  I hope my efforts in telling this story will produce conversations within families, and hope within the heart of every person who is now grappling with the myriad changes that take place WHEN YOUR PARENT BECOMES YOUR CHILD. 

JT: I do feel like I had the chance to get to know your mom through this book. I am sure she is living a glorious life and yes, if we were to interview her she would answer the question of what was your homegoing like with - "never better." 

Ken: Thank you! That is the highest compliment you could give me!

Author, Ken Abraham - Photo Courtesy of Thomas Nelson

Copyright (C) 2012 by Read On Read Now